Pregnancy « Knee Deep in Kids

Communicating through snatch gravy

I finally felt my babies kicking!

I can’t help but wonder if their punching and kicking mean something. I mean, if i was trapped somewhere, unable to escape, i would start tapping at the walls trying to find help.

Could it be a built in baby instinct? You know, how they know how to find a nipple, [...]

That episode of the X-Files about the Easy Bake Oven

We saw our babies dancing! It was like Soul Train down there in my lady’s loins. It was a very special two hour episode as the doc performed the anatomy sonogram.

We waited until our 19th week – or at least what we feel was our 19th week. There’s contention as to the conception date (conception contention, [...]

Vagina Dog Tags

“I feel like my vagina’s gonna fall off.”

That’s my wife, ladies and gentlemen. I married into the height of class.

So she’s been a hell of a lucky duck. She’s well into her 18th week with twins, and has totally skipped morning sickness. She’s skipped most of the usual symptoms. She hasn’t had any aversion to foods, [...]

The Devil’s Math

If Mama Bear’s cervix starts to dilate, i swear i’m going to staple her cooterus shut.

See, here’s the deal. My wife is a Cancer. Cancers are emotional, motherly, sensitive, protective and moody. They’re kind of like that creepy bag lady in the end of Labyrinth, the one with all that crap on her back. She had [...]