Why is every morning in my house like an easter egg hunt?  The search for the shoes begins promptly five minutes before we’re due to leave for school.  Where are the shoes?  Are they in this room?  Under the couch?  Behind the bed?  Up in the attic?

And when we do eventually find them, there’s no candy [...]

Whatever happened to Sinead O’Connor?  If she were still hip, maybe i could get away with shaving my kid’s hair off.  Natalie Portman in V for Vendetta, she was cool, right?  ”Remember, remember, the fifth time i tried to get this knot out of your hair?”  Was that how it went?

It’s just that her hair is [...]

Is anyone else afraid that you’re going to eat your babies?

Each week i send my wife an email with a status update, usually taken from babycenter.com.  They always reference the size of the growing baby to food.  It was a grape at one point, a fig, a lemon, and right now our babies are apples.  I [...]

Grievances.

What is it about leftover Fruity Pebbles that makes them stick to a bowl with such force that i’d almost rather throw the bowl away than spend 3 hours scrubbing it?  Why, also, is it practically the only cereal my kid eats?  What the hell are they made of, sugar, crazy glue and concrete?  They start [...]

So here we were, two busy individuals with busy lives.  We had our work, our rigid tv schedule, our lavish spending at out of state horror conventions.  The usual.  Then we added one to the family – we adopted our niece.  She was six, so there were certain things we didn’t have to worry about, like [...]