April « 2009 « Knee Deep in Kids

Horrible ill-fitting pants babies

I’m one more ill-shaped pair of pants away from buying a burlap sack for my kid to wear.

It’s like pants lottery, since each day only a certain random pair of pants seems to be the one that’ll fit. It becomes like an easter egg hunt for the right pair. Today the dark jeans with the [...]

Edible Klingon Babies

I torture my kid.

Not like waterboarding. No. I go for the mental torture.

We were passing by a church. I asked her if she knew what the cross on the top meant. I told her it was because they worshipped addition. They loved math. She didn’t believe me.

There was a dude on tv missing a leg. I [...]

Pee and Nanobots

I am sometimes astounded at all the weird little changes that happen when you have kids. And they happen so slowly, our lives have changed and we didn’t even notice.

For example, all of our normal pens seem to have disappeared. Mysteriously. So this morning, we started out signing our 30 page-deep mortgage refinance papers with a [...]

My baby girls will not kill anyone

I will soon be drowning in estrogen.

We had another sonogram. Jellybean is definitely a girl. Turtle isn’t a definite, it’s uncooperative, but Turtle also looks like a girl.

I’m the only dude in the house! I’ve been surrounded by girls for years! My wife has like 14 sisters. And many of them have lived in the house [...]

I will die if i don’t win a swingset

So they’re giving away a swingset and camera, and i want it.

I’m supposed to write why i should win it. I’m sure you can already guess the answer: because i’m awesome. But i think they want some more meat than that.

Should i play the sympathy card? Should i tell the tale about how we, almost 2 [...]