So we began our childbirth classes.

The wife and i sat in the back like the bad kids in school.  Our instructor was a small statured lady who had the demeanor of a 9th grade English teacher that would be totally nice until you didn’t turn in your homework.  Luckily she didn’t give us any.  Because i [...]

I think my kid is a vampire.

Follow me.  First, she stays up all night.  If she had no bedtime, she’d have no use for a bed.  At night, she comes alive in a real and scary way. If i do get her asleep, it’s very difficult to get her to rise from her Tinkerbell-adorned coffin.  She [...]

When i’m not fumbling through my dad responsibilities, i’m making an equally awful attempt at my husband duties.
 

Last year, for father’s day, my wife bought me my first ever propane grill.  It was a glorious day, and as most dads with grills can attest, it rivaled and/or topped other important moments in my life, such as when [...]

One quick aside i have to share before my actual blog:

My wife is in the car, very pregnant, a little sick, and irritable.  The kid is in the backseat, using every kid trick she has to dig into the wound.  After we deem it ‘quiet time,’ she resorts to writing notes and putting them on my [...]

As my babies are growing somewhere below my wife’s chest but above where she pees, i do have one real-life concern:  having little Van Gogh babies.

I was one, you see.  When the doctors wiped away the placenta and womb jello from me, they found only one ear.  No, they weren’t horrible at math, there really was [...]

Now that both our twins have been confirmed girls, there’s the question of whether they’re fraternal or identical.

We’ve come to realize that a lot of people don’t understand the differences.  So i’ll try to help.

Here’s a quick tip – fraternal sounds a lot like Fratelli.  Like, the criminal brothers from the Goonies.  One’s short and wears [...]