Grievances.
What is it about leftover Fruity Pebbles that makes them stick to a bowl with such force that i’d almost rather throw the bowl away than spend 3 hours scrubbing it? Why, also, is it practically the only cereal my kid eats? What the hell are they made of, sugar, crazy glue and concrete? They start out so delicious and innocent looking. They sure get plenty soggy in milk. I admit it, they taste good and are fun to eat. But they’re so small that you can never eat them all! Even if you weren’t like my kid and left a solid 20% of absolutely anything you eat behind, there’s still some castaways, left forever in the bowl. Then what happens, between the time we’re rushing out the door in the morning, and later that night when i finally get around to doing the dishes, to this unassuming breakfast food? Do they attempt to take on some alien symbiotic form with the bowl? Are they turned to stone by some hidden breakfast Medusa, a character embittered by the fact that she doesn’t get her own cereal, yet misfits like a tie-wearing caveman and a senile old sea captain, do? Is this Fred Flintstone’s last revenge for being cancelled?
Second grievance: socks.
When we inherited our kid, we also inherited her thousand-plus arsenal of non-matching socks. She has literally a mountain heap of socks, each a different size, color, brand… was this her hobby before, sock collecting? Do they even make scrapbooks for that? Is this some kind of fashion world version of Pokemon, gotta catch em all? And who sells these socks to kids, where each pair in the pack is a different color? We all know that those socks are going to get thrown around, stuck in cushions, under furniture, stranded on the roof, fed to the dog, and used as evil, unmatching sock puppets. Our best hope as parents is that we can find two or three of the pack, tops. Giving our kids one blue sock and one red sock and telling them they look like Punky Brewster can only go so far.
You know who probably invented socks? Fred Flintstone. I’m sure they were made of sabertooth tiger hide and wooly mammoth skin back then, but i bet Pebbles had real nice socks. It must’ve been nice to have Wilma go on a scavenger hunt every day for those socks, too. Well we don’t have that, Fred. Way to ruin my life with your stupid inventions.
I wish i had time travelling powers like the Dharma Initiative. I’d use blind rage as my Constant, and go back and kick Fred Flintstone in the nads.
I hate you, Fred Flintstone, and i’m going to tell my kids that your show sucked. We’ll watch the Jetsons instead.
you do know the jetsons and the flintstones were created by the same people, right… i’m sure you do… eep ork op ah ah, anyway… and you are absolutely right about the socks, but she’s a girls, so just wait until she figures out that shoes come in different styles!