We have no less than 3 doctors appointments a week now. We go twice a week for these biophysicals, which are like mini-sonograms. They check to make sure the babies are breathing, which totally weirds me out. Because last time i checked, there’s no air inside my wife’s cooterus. It’s all that ooky babymaker fluid, most of which is made of baby pee, like some kind of gross pink lemonade. It makes me think of that mouse from The Abyss where they drown it in that stuff, but then it starts breathing underwater, and then Kyle Reese from Terminator is all like ‘What the crap!’ 
This would be totally cool though if, like Ed Harris in The Abyss, my babies talked frequently to aliens living there in my wife’s vagina with them. If i ever got a chance to meet them, i would probably apologize for damaging their homes with my wang everytime my wife and i would do it.
I’ll be honest with you, this kind of makes me hesitate to hold and kiss them when they come out. Because they’ve just been pickled in their own urine for nine months. Do they give them like some sort of bath in hydrogen peroxide? Take a pass with a pressure washer? Run them through the dishwasher? I know, all the nurses say that their pee is sterile. But it’s still pee.
We now have just 4 weeks from today. It’s amazing how far we’ve come, and how fast. It doesn’t feel that long ago that we first read ‘pregnant’ on that pee stick. Or that we found out we were having twins, which of course wold fuck up any plans we may have had. I remember lazy days when we’d lay in bed, argue about baby names, and play video games all day. Now the pressure is on. There’s not a minute that goes by that we’re not busy preparing something. It’s like when we were kids, and we’d spend all day lazily playing something like Ikari Warriors or Contra, 99 lives in tow. But when we got to the boss, our hands tensed up, our eyes would narrow, sweat would bead on our brows. It was go time. This would change our whole weekend. We’d have bragging rights to the whole neighborhood. Kids would come and visit us, as we’d show off the end credits and tell stories about how awesome it was.
That’s where we are now. The last stage. The final boss. Our 99 lives are over. It’s go time.
be prepared to put your video games on the back burner for awhile lol think you’re busy now before the pee babies come? you’re gonna have a lifetime of busy (at least 18 years worth and that can feel like a lifetime). hehe
Are you panicked by any chance? I don’t know Ikari Warriors or Contra 99, but I can tell you that your 99 lives may be over, but I think you’ll be thrilled with your 100th. I don’t think your babies will remember your wang. I really don’t. Besides, I think your babies home is pretty secure. I can’t wait until you post about the labor and delivery, I think we’ll be interested in your view on the proceedings. (Or we’ll be laughing our a**es off.) You can tell all of us how awesome it was.
Seriously, I hope all goes well for the next four weeks. I wish you and your wife only the best. I hope you feel good about everything and very prepared. If your nursery is any indicator, you will be.
1. I hope that there aren’t any aliens living in you wife’s vagina.
B. This pregnancy has gone so fast! For me anyway. Your wife may feel differently with 2 people living inside of her.
Dang, I never thought of that…kissing the pee pickled newborn…ICK! And to think, all those henerations of Eskimos that lick their babies cleam…GACK!
Best wishes to you and the upcoming….
This really is eerie to me too that the babies body is kept clean enough by the mother that it can live in it’s own urine and feces for a long time. What’s really cool though is that when they make the incision, you can actually tell as it drains that it’s not bloody (much) but a little greenish yellow in our case. Coool!
Don’t worry though, once they wipe ‘em down and remove the pee and poop, they hand you someone real nice… and then they hand YOU someone else real nice also.
I found it stunning that my little son was emerging out of my wife. It was just too real to comprehend at that moment. I imagine it always is, how much our lives were changing in just those few rushed moments and that with all the preparation in months before, it was those precious surreal moments that really changed everything and that when we left the OR the entire center of balance of Sarah and I shifted. We shifted it a little more everyday, willingly
“I don’t think your babies will remember your wang. I really don’t.”
Dude, were you just burned by Surprised Mom?
I’m sure you have nothing to worry about but I was laughing My ass off at the Contra and 99 lives, those were the days LOL