Finally Knee Deep In Kids

Wow i have so much to write about.  It’s only been a day but it’s been probably the most important day of my life.

I know i didn’t write this on Friday, but since it happened on Friday, and it’s probably the most important event of my Fatherhood so far, i’m calling it Fatherhood Friday anyway.

I’ve twittered much of this, but let me recap.

Monday was a biophysical at the hospital.  Tuesday we had a break.  Wednesday wife got up and felt a wet spot under her around 4pm.  Thought it might  be her water breaking, so i ran home and we went to the hospital.  Water hadn’t ruptured, but they were concerned about her pre-eclampsia symptoms.  We were there during a shift change, different doctors had different opinions, our doctor was in New York, and we went from being sent home to being delivered that night in about half an hour.  Problem is, they just gave her a turkey sandwich because her sugars were low, and you can’t do surgery with food in the stomach.

So if it weren’t for a turkey sandwich, babies would’ve come Wednesday night.

They sent her home to do a 24-hour urine sample (which is a pain in the ass).  Thursday we had a biophysical and regular appointment with our OB.  He pencilled us in to be delivered 9am Friday pending results of that urine test.  I dropped it off that night, we got the call 7am the next morning, and we  were off to the hospital.

Anxious, nervous, excited, butterflies in stomach, we took the final drive.  We rehearsed this for 8 months but still weren’t fully ready for it.  I don’t think anyone ever can be.  The desire to get pregnant, to want to raise kids, and the whole process of being pregnant is absolutely nothing like actually having babies.  Its like wanting to be a butterfly, so you’re strutting around as a catterpillar, then you make your coccoon, but when you pop out, you realize you really have no idea how to fly.

We arrived at 8.  Some family helped us pass the time.  Ange got a makeover hospital-gown style, while i wore the scrubs like a rockstar.  Then we got delayed.  And delayed again.  And again.  Then she was actually in the OR for a few minutes, but a mom crashed and we were booted.  So we waited.  More.  The anticipation was horrible.  Excitement can carry you so far, but if the minutes drag into hours, all of the possible bad things that could happen start running through your head.  The pediatrician came in and talked to us, walked us through what would happen inside.  She asked if we had any questions, and i asked her i know she counts fingers and toes, but if she could count the ears and call them out to me as soon as she could.

At noon they wheeled her in.  I had to wait outside the OR while they put her spinal in.  That felt horrible.  I wanted to be there and look into her eyes and hold her hand to help her through what i thought might suck ass.  Needles in the back?  She said she got through it ok.  Our anesthesiologist was pretty funny, so that helped.  I was stuck waiting, pacing, twittering, out in the hall for maybe 20 minutes.

It was exhilariating and scary to walk into the OR.  My wife was strapped to a table, everything from her neck down covered by a divider sheet. I could see over it and see all the doctor’s heads.  I couldn’t see her stomach, which was about to find out what cut a bitch open really means.  I put my hand on her shoulder and looked down at her.  She was doing great.

The doctors did their thing for just a few minutes, and then, almost effortlessly, pulled the first baby out.  I saw it over the sheet.  It was grey-white with blood on it.  I was stunned, hit hard.  There are no baby books or childbirth classes that can even dream of preparing you for this.  I almost don’t want to describe it, because anything would seem corny or cliche.

But the feeling you get when you see, for the first time, life that you’ve created, coming out of the woman you love, is humbling and incredible.  It’s completely life-changing.  I don’t even have a funny movie or pop culture reference to make light of it with.  It’s an indescribable and untouchable experience.

They gave Baby A to the pediatrician.  She glanced her over and shouted out, ’2 ears!’  I was totally teared up by this point.  The doc announced, ‘here comes the next one,’ and i watched this amazing sight all over again.  Baby B was given over to the next team (there were 2 people at 2 stations ready for each baby), and she was looked over.

I asked this nurse, anxiously, ‘how many ears?’  She said something, i think she thought i was kidding.  I urgently replied, ‘i’m serious.’  She said 2, and i lost it.  I started crying like a little girl.  I looked down at my wife and started crying harder.  We had created two perfect babies.  It was amazing.

After a few minutes they had me come over and start to take pictures.  The babies had been cleaned up.  They were both very pink.  And by god, how adorable.  They were both amazingly cute, both had a nice head of hair, and both even opened an eye pretty quickly to see the new world around them.  I stared at them in complete awe.  I was too afraid to touch them.  They were dreamlike, not quite real, and i didn’t want to wake from the dream.
They had me sit, and handed me each baby in an arm.  I sat there, holding them both, looking at my wife, posing for a picture.  The dream was feeling more real.

Ange was cleaned and sewn up.  I followed the babies into the recovery room, then they brought her in.  I wanted Ange to look at the babies to determine names, but i already knew who was who.  She agreed with me, and Baby A offically became Cordelia Chaylee Long, born 12:30pm at 5lbs 2oz, 18 1/2″.  Baby B became Juliette Iya Long, born 12:31pm at 4lbs 10oz, 17 1/2″.  Family flooded in,  holding babies and taking pictures.  After a while, they were taken to the nursery to be checked and cleaned.  Ange had to be put on magnesium to help her high blood pressure.  This meant she couldn’t eat or drink anything for at least 12 hours – not even ice chips.  She was not happy.

Family left us alone for a bit.  It’s all hazy, i think we shared a nice moment alone after such a dramatic experience.   Nurses brought Jules back, but not Cordy.  Her blood sugars were low, and she had to be taken to the NICU.  Those letters – such a scary thing.  But we felt good about it.  Cordy was a very healthy baby, with an Apgar score of 8, but with a blood sugar of 29, she just needed a little help.  It’s a common side effect to babies born to diabetic moms, they produce too much insulin in the very beginning, but fix themselves with a little help.  We were obviously disappointed, but not too concerned about the news.

I found the family, gave them an update, told them they should probably just head home.  Right now mom and babies needed to heal.  I got some food and headed up, very pleased that i would have some alone time with one of my babies for the first time.  As Ange rested, i picked up my baby for the first time, and held her.  I sat there, looking down at her, for an hour.  It sunk in more what we had really accomplished, what we had really made, and i began to tear up again.  She was just amazing.

I held her probably 3 full hours that night, just looking at her, rocking her back and forth.  We tried to breastfeed, but found some difficulty.  Nurses were in and out constantly.

I visited Cordy in the NICU.  It’s locked with 2 doors and i have to wash up well and wear a gown and mask before going in.  But it’s not a scary place like i imagined it would be, or how i probably saw in an episode of ER.  Cordy was hooked up to lots of tubes and wires, but i didn’t really see all that.  I saw her face, her button nose just like Ange, her long middle toe just like mine.  I couldn’t pick her up but they let me feed her.  I was sad that she wasn’t with us, but happy that she was relatively healthy, and so beautiful.

At 12:30 that night Ange’s blood pressures were lowering and she was taken of the magnesium.  We were moved to our actual room at 2:30.  Ange finally got some water to drink.  They took Jules to the nursery.  I visited a sleeping Cordy again for a few minutes.  We both got 3 or 4 hours sleep.

It’s 1am Sunday morning and that’s still all the sleep i’ve gotten since waking up early Friday morning.  Today it’s been a constant stream of baby feedings, nurse visits, and trips to the NICU (where i can hold her now).

Though the NICU situation is sad, it has let us adapt to parenthood and feeding without being completely overwhelmed.

I will tell you about my babies.  Please try not to get too jealous.

They are both considered preemies.  They were born at 36 weeks.  They are smaller than we thought they would be based on ultrasounds.

Jules is a little gal.  I’ve seen babydolls bigger that her.  It makes her that much more precious, though.  Despite her size, she’s been doing well with her body temperature.  Her blood sugars have been a little low at times, but always just high enough to keep her out of the NICU.  That’s just like her weight – she was one ounce over the NICU weight.  What a relief that was!  She feeds slow – it can take an hour to feed her.  She has a tempermental stomach, too.  She’s spit up a good deal on a few occassions.  She is making lots of progress, though.  She’s going to look like me, we think, although she has her mom’s hair color.  She has such chubby cheeks!  She likes her head rubbed, and she doesn’t cry much, but if she does she quiets up and soon as i pick her up.  She likes to be held.  She’s a very quiet and calm baby though.  She’s cried maybe a total of 20 minutes over the last 2 days.  I love to just hold her and talk to her.  I predict she’s going to be daddy’s little girl.

Cordy’s blood sugar has been low, but it’s picked up dramatically.  At 29 right after birth, it hit a high of 73 earlier today.  They’ve been weening her off her IV and it is still at 61.  If she keeps this up, we may even have her back later tomorrow.  She is the bigger of the two.  She will look more like her mother, although she has my hair color.  She has long fingernails, beautiful eyes, and a great appetite.  She’s a big fan of the bottle.  She feeds quickly and well.  She is a quiet and very mild mannered baby. I’ve visited her 5 times so far.  I can’t wait till she’s with us.  We can get so wrapped up with Jules, going to see her is a shocking reminder that we have two of these beautiful babies. It’s ironic that Cordy is the bigger baby but is the one who ended up in NICU.  Also ironic because i think she will be the healthier, hardier baby once she’s out.  I love when she looks up at me when i feed her.

She has very active eyes.  I think she’s going to be the more headstrong and outspoken of the two.

They look very similar in certain ways.  The pediatrician, right after birth, took a good few minutes before determining they were fraternal and not identical.  I couldn’t tell then.  I can certainly tell now.  There are definite differences between the two, but they are very obviously sisters.

Ange is doing good.  She’s off her IV already, she’s passed gas, which is a big milestone, and her spinal will be taken out tomorrow.  Today she started getting out of bed a little bit.  Tonight she was able to visit Cordy in the NICU for the first time.   I was very excited for her.  It’s the first time she’s been able to see her since before they took her to the nursery just after birth.

Abby was here today, and got to hold Jules for a bit.  She’s going to be a good big sister.

We’re here till Tuesday.  It’s going to be very exciting and very challenging when we get home.  My first concern is that feeding them takes so long.  Each one can take an hour, and that’s taking the easy way out – using bottles and formula.  The road to breastfeeding and pumping seems like it’s going to be rocky, at least at first.  These babies will have to eat every 2 to 3 hours.  Since they’re preemeis, we’ll have to watch their food intake and their temperatures closely.  We’ll also have to go get some preemie clothes, since we have very little.  That should be kind of fun though.  Maybe we can take our babies out for their first trip, and show them off to all the jealous people at Babies R Us.

I just missed my opportunity to sleep.  It’s 1:30am and they just brought Jules in from the nursery, and she’s crying for some food.  Her latest blood sugar is 70, which is fantastic.  Ange is trying to breastfeed, and Jules is being picky and obstinant.

I’m finally knee deep in kids.