Thankful for the Waffle House

Our first Thanksgiving!

There are many things i’m thankful for.

I’m thankful my babies are regular.  Without even the use of Activia,   my babies poop once a day.  Like they swallowed a clock and it got stuck in their colon.  It’s a fun, albeit stinky, guessing game, wherein we yell out ‘I got the package!’ like we just found a very brown, sloppy easter egg.  Although now that the babies are starting to eat jar foods, i feel like it’s going to turn less into a scavenger hunt and more into a game of hot potato.  We’ll be tossing the twins back and forth in the air hoping that the diaper will get filled up with a rotten chocolate milkshake in the other’s hand.

I’m thankful for BinkiGrips.  Before my wife found these, pacifiers disappeared constantly.  They were like locusts, tons of them there, then gone as soon we turned around.   Then they would pop up like 7 days later mysteriously.  BinkiGrips are awesome.  They have alligator clips which attach to anything.  It’s one step away from giving the baby a good strong piercing, like cartilage or septum,  and attaching the pacifier right to them.  Which i’m not opposed to, but current legislation prevents me from trying.  So far.

And oh am i thankful for lights.  When the babies are fussy, or if i need to deal with just one at a time, i have lights.  Lights in swing chairs, lights attached to cribs, lights projected in ceilings, or hey, even the tv!  My babies are like moths, mesmerized by anything bright, colorful or blinking.  I do have fears that when they’re older and mobile that we’ll have some sort of bug light zapping accident, but as a father of twins, i have to worry about one thing at a time.

And lastly, i’m thankful for my wife.  Our twins are fraternal.  So whenever things become rough or too stressful, i can just blame her!  It’s not my fault we had two babies!  She shouldn’t have shot out too many eggs!  What was she doing, trying to make a uterine omelet?  Her lady parts are not supposed to be a Waffle House.

Too bad she didn’t push out some smothered & covered hash browns out of those things, too!