Cheese Grater Bath Time

They’re cute, sure, but they’re also like menacing beasts with their terrible talons.  Those nails so tiny, and also so difficult to cut, yet the damage they can reap is astounding.  I have velociraptors.  I have chick versions of Wolverine (I would even slip in a Lady Deathstrike reference here even but only like 2 readers would get it).  I have dual-gloved Freddy Kruegers.  And it’s bad enough when they scrape us up – i’ve learned to identify when they’re in a crazed claw-swiping mood, and keep my face arms-length away from their tiny little razors.  But without my face to maul, they turn on their own.  It’s like Edward Scissorhands all over again, only without the awesome hedges and Vincent Price cameo.  Every couple of minutes there’s a new scratch, scrape or gouge on their faces.  You’d think i was giving them a bath with No Tears and a cheese grater.  I’m not!

Self-mutilation aside, the babies are doing very well.  They are literally twice as big as when they were born, which is hard for me to wrap my head around.  It’s fun having twins because i can see how babies can develop differently.  Cordy is our roller.  When laid down,  she rolls on to her stomach almost immediately.  She’s gotten this down pat.  She even sleeps on her stomach every night now – she rolls over as soon as she hits that crib.  She’s not so good at rolling back yet… but she’s working on it.  Jules isn’t as interested in rolling over, but she does love talking.  She’ll talk all day.  Loudly.  It’s really cute, until it’s been like an hour straight, and i’m really trying to watch this movie.  Like, go ahead baby, keep practicing, because i want to hear you say daddy soon, but just turn it down a bit, because i’m trying to listen to Will Ferrell say something goofy to Zoey Deschanel, k?

And our next impending disaster, as if the fear of our babies cutting their own faces off or rolling off the couch to become messy splats all over the carpet aren’t bad enough, is teething.  Our babies, who really don’t cry all that often, have become unusually fussy lately.  And they’re drooling, a lot.  Like, i should buy flood insurance.  I wish i could build fremen stillsuits and recirculate that drool.  It would save a whole lot of wiping (which lately has degenerated from spit rags to daddy wiping it with his hand and then onto his shirt).  They’re also in the age range to get their first tooth, which the internet tells me is 4 to 7 months.  So, yeah.  Teething rings?  Orajel?  Mouthguards?  Every time i’ve got this baby stuff figured out, they go ahead and outsmart me, or start growing something new.

PS  I’ve settled with updating pictures on my facebook account and nowhere else.  I added links there on the left if you want daily reminders of how cute my babies are.