I will soon be drowning in estrogen.
We had another sonogram. Jellybean is definitely a girl. Turtle isn’t a definite, it’s uncooperative, but Turtle also looks like a girl.
I’m the only dude in the house! I’ve been surrounded by girls for years! My wife has like 14 sisters. And many of them have lived in the house at one time or another. An army of girls! And me, a prisoner of gender war! I’ve been surrounded by garrisons of feelings and battalions of needless crying!
Now don’t get me wrong. Back when we thought we were only having one baby, i wanted a girl. I think they’re cuter. I like girl names better. And to be honest, i didn’t ever want to have to wipe poop off my son’s balls. Ugh. Just the thought of it makes me shudder.
However, once the news hit that we were having twins, i really wanted one to be a boy. One more on the team. Someone who would understand my need to not wash dishes before i put them in the dishwasher. Someone who would sit with me and watch horrible action movies starring Tony Jaa. Someone who’s head i could shave so i wouldn’t have yet another maze of knots to brush in the morning.
Alas, so far, the sonograms show no ding-dong. Maybe he’s just hiding. Maybe he’s just, you know, not very well endowed. Or maybe he’s re-enacting the scene from Silence of the Lambs. Maybe he’s telling Jellybean to put the lotion in the basket. Of course i hope not – i would prefer to not to raise a socipath who skins people to make custom clothing. Man, he would be so grounded. Yeah, maybe i’m way better off with a girl. They’re statistically less likely to grow up to be serial killers.
Yeah, dude, screw that. As much as i enjoy reading about Charles Manson and Jeffrey Dahmer, i have no desire to be rooting around in the fridge for something to eat, and stumble upon a dude’s femur marinating in a bbq sauce. And i have enough laundry to do without having to worry about getting massive blood stains out of their weekend killing spree clothes. And it would be very hard to explain why, when he wrote a letter to Santa asking for a new cleaver, that he got a bicycle instead.
Thank you, i’ll take two girls. Daddy’s little non-homicidal girls.
he puts the lotion on the skin and puts them in a basket…that’s what my son would always say. lol
anyways, my turtle has it ‘tucked’ hehe better have a boy’s name handy just in case.
I have never been so happy to have had a daughter in my life! Thanks!
Trust me. It really does suck to have to clean poop off a lil’ guy’s balls. I’ve done it and just reading that sentence makes me shudder. Ugh.
Congrats on your non-homicidal girls.
Your mind is an interesting place Apok. Very interesting.
Apok: You are one Hysterical Dude. Yes, I have to clean the poop that surronds my son’s balls…and he is now trying to reach for them as well. You do what ya gotta do and it ends up being no big deal.
Loved the Silence of the Lambs (ft, ft, ft, ft).
It’s not over till it’s over- We have friends that were told they were having a girl, and were pleasantly suprised on the big day. And there was only one baby in there!
On the gender/homicide front, after Celia Rose was born (and it was too late to change her name), I googled “Celia Rose” and found some story about 23-year-old in Ohio in the late 1800′s (I think), who slowly and systematically poisoned her whole family with arsenic. On the up side, I guess the name is pre-disastered, right?
LMAO!
Oh man…with that description, I’m happy I have a little girl.
Think of it this way – you’ll have “daddy’s little girl” x 3. Lovely thought, huh?
I’ll check back with you when they hit their teen years…;)
Dude,
I wish you well, I can barely get my head around having one five months from now. Although now thanks to you, as if dreading changing my first diaper EVER wasn’t bad enough, I will forever have the poo on balls image burned into my brain. I still think that’s got to be easier than poo in the hoohaa x 2 little girls.
I’ve laughed hard at a lot of FF posts today but yours actually made my wife turn and look at me, twice! As the father of 2 boys I’ve wiped tons of poop from balls and it is never pleasant. I’m hoping that we’re doing enough to avoid the whole Silence of the Lambs thing. I figure if we keep them away from the sewing machine we should be fine
No people suits in this house.
Let me thank you on behalf of the rest of the world for not having a serial killer. You have given a lot to us all.
Ball Poop. Dude, you’re killin’ me. Friggin’ hysterical!
Dude, that’s twisted. I mean that in a good way.
That is the one thing I hadn’t given any consideration to until after our son was born – having to clean up down there. I’ll be honest, I do it because I have to, but I’m not a fan of the task. Especially now that the instant the diaper comes off that is the first place both of his hands go for.